declaration of the closure of the "project"

i have just officially told myself that i will put a closure to move-house project...

been mega busy the past few weeks, doing "research", calling agents, getting put off by some of them.. viewing house, travelling up and down, even going to the extent of begging someone to view a house we were interested in... these efforts have come to naught.

was at grandpa's house today when i brought up the subject to her again - mentioning that hdb prices have softened very much and 5-room prices are much better as compared to prob. 1 month ago... well, she only heard it. wasn't listening at all. i wasn't convinced, thus pushed for an answer from her... - didnt say much.

when we left grandpa's place.. i still didnt give up. i wanted her to say "yes" to start viewing flats again.. (haha, sometimes I wonder where did my persistence come from?).. and this time she said "can u leave me alone, for a few months?" then i was like "A FEW MONTHS?! okay then i treat it as the valuation done is in vain..." and i kept quiet.

throughout the journey home, i didnt speak a word because there were so many things going through my mind. what was that going to mean? does it mean that after a few months, this topic is going to surface again? does it mean that I had to do all the work, and get played out in the end? this is going to be endless.

and that was when i made up my mind. I am not going to bring up that topic again. I am not going to do anything - even if this topic were to surface again. too much pain, disappointment, the feeling of being played out is definitely not good. if there was no existence of mr. opposition, perhaps things might have worked out better. God, when did he changed to be like that?

a friend posted on facebook - if everyone were to care a little less for themselves and more for others, the world will be a better place to live in. does it really work this way? I felt that I have given so much of care, spent the most time, considering alot of her -- the reason of moving is for her to be near her sibilings, to have company / companions whenever we're not around... to at least, have relatives nearer, as compared to now. but all these were unseen. to him, maybe he thought that i pushed and worked so hard for this "project" so that if it materialises, i would be really near my workplace. yes, that is the bonus for me. but it was not the driving force of this from the start.

the chinese saying goes something like (direct translation) - "every family has a "book" that is difficult to read"... now, since this book is beyond my level, I shall graciously put it down. Why do I force myself to continue reading it? Put it down, it will probably be of a lesser burden for you.

smile, and the world smiles with you. that is if you will smile. the choice is yours. choose the right one.

its the launch of another project called... project B.